Moments of Doubt

Moments of Doubt

This week has been heavy. Astrologically, we were closing out a lot of cycles as we got ready for Aquarius Season and the upcoming Aquarius New Moon. 


Yesterday morning, I had a significant moment of doubt about my acting career. 


“What if this doesn’t work out? What if you’re just meant to do Astrology & Spirituality full time?”


This thought has never really crossed my mind before, so it took me by surprise. I often get visions of how Still Water Alchemy will grow and expand in the coming years (it is a full vibe, by the way) and part of me thought, in that moment, that I should just fully invest into those visions. That my time and energy would be better served in this industry. 


I’ve wanted to be an actor since I was a child. I still remember being irate when nepotism and social politics prevented me from getting the lead role in my grade two school play. I’ve held this dream, this vision of being an actor, for decades. 


Even with all my knowledge of how the mind works, and how easily I can shift my mindset, the doubt wouldn’t leave. 


I affirmed that I can have it all, and left it at that before I met my trainer at the gym. 


The Universe always works in beautiful ways. 


About five minutes after I started my workout, one of the lead actors from, “The Umbrella Academy” entered the room with their trainer. Throughout the majority of my workout, I was within earshot of this immense talent - this beautiful energy that came in at the perfect moment. 


Then it clicked, “Even if you were the lead of a TV show right at this very moment, you would still be doing exactly what you are doing now.


Just because I don’t have something that I want right now, doesn’t mean I will never have it. 


Just because I had a moment of doubt, doesn’t meant that doubt is my normal state of flow. 


It was kind of crazy, but not surprising, that this succinct message from the God/Source/Universe came literally within hours of the onset of the doubt. 


Now, this doesn’t mean everything was immediately peachy keen. I dug into this limiting belief more when I returned home. Intuitively, I was guided to watch one of my old classics as I ate lunch - Sailor Moon. 


Now, for those of you who aren’t aware, this show has been redubbed and completely redone a couple times. But, I still hold great nostalgia for the OG version with the first set of voice over actors. After searching for quite a while, I finally found old episodes from the second season. After watching a “random” episode, I immediately began crying. The theme from that episode was very prevalent in many ways. It helped to process not only the doubt, but a few different areas of my life that I have been working on. 


That’s the thing, the work never ends. You just get to go deeper and deeper into it to create even more powerful results and revelations. 


One of the biggest revelations was that over the past few weeks I have been working harder than I ever have in my entire life. This is astrologically connected to me finishing my Saturn Return, with Saturn making a square to all my Scorpio placements (including my MC.) I am proud of this, as I have/am reaching new heights and accomplishing goals I have set out for myself. But, it made perfect sense that my Ego would be spinning out and wanting to protect itself from burn out. If I landed my dream acting role, today, it would be a lot on top of an already full plate. I knew I had to connect in with my feminine and get the rest that my body needed. 


This past week I have slept, a lot. But in the past 48 hours I have slept ALL the sleep. 


This is where the deep, cellular reprogramming gets to take place. We all so strongly need time to rest, recalibrate, and process the change that is around us. However, many of us are continually being exposed to the opposite - burn out culture, and placing our worth on trophies, status, and how much money we make. 


All the fame, money, and trophies mean relatively nothing if your health is deteriorating and your mind is never happy with you or your success. 


Sometimes this reminder is reflected to us at pivotal times in our journey. 


I know I get to have it all. We all do. I am immensely grateful for Still Water Alchemy and everything it has taught me - never mind the countless people I’ve been exposed and connected to. I trust that even this story will help people I have yet to connect with. But, I am allowed to grow Still Water Alchemy while also growing my acting career. The two are not mutually exclusive. This can be applied to any area of your life (Ex. having a job you love that also makes you a lot of money, or being a successful parent, lover, and boss while also having copious amounts of time to enjoy luxury, leisure, and rest.)


You get to have it all. 


You’re allowed to have doubt, you’re allowed to not know how the f*ck it is all going to unfold. But, listen to your body and see where that energy is stemming from. Why is that energy loudly presenting itself at said moment? 


Sometimes (often times) the Ego will scream the loudest right before a massive expansion occurs. The time is irrelevant, that expansion could occur in days, or years. The point is that it is coming. Thus, see the doubt/fear, observe it, but take the proper stems to transmute the fear into faith. 


In my example, that message of hope can come very quickly. Whether it is in the form of a sign, person, TV show/movie, book, it doesn’t matter. If you are open to receive, you will receive support from God/Source/Universe. 


And remember to take isolated time for yourself. If we don’t, our body/mind will try and grab our attention through various tactics so we can fully heal. I’ve experienced this many times myself, and had a plethora of pronounced occasions where this has happened to my clients. 


As we step into Aquarius Season, new cycles are forming. All the planets will be direct between January 22 - April 21/2023. The Cosmos are literally aligning to give us all the green light to help us achieve our dreams. 


Trust in Yourself. 


Trust in your Dreams. 


Trust in the Silence. 


Trust in the Work.




Trust that everything is and will always be working out in your highest Favour. 


You Got This!!

- MO

You may also like

View all
The Benisons of May
Pluto Packs a Punch
Moments of Doubt